Tangents

Sometimes writing is literally the only thing I want to do. While I'm busy doing other things, my thoughts start turning into writing. It's an odd thing--to think in written words. It's like a little typewriter is running in my brain.

It just feels so good to write. I can't fathom not keeping a journal or blog or something to spit out my thoughts. I'd go crazy. It's funny to think that instead of a written journal, I will someday be looking back at typed out thoughts. Kind of sad, actually. I should probably start hand writing things...but let's be realistic, I won't do that.

Someday, when my kids look back through my journals (which I will egotistically assume they will want to), I wonder what they will think of me? I wonder if they will be shocked or confused at the things their mother said. Probably. I'm sure if I had read my own mom's musings in her 20s, I would not recognize her either.

My mom had a life before me. Weird. I mean, I know she did, but when I really think about it...it's weird. I wonder how she thought when she was my age. What her goals and aspirations were. I think that is something you just have to be there for. For me anyway, my goals in life change weekly, and if I were to try to explain that to someone 25 years from now, I doubt I'd go into all the winding details. I'd summarize, just like we all seem to summarize our lives in one way or another.

Speaking of summaries, I find it kind of funny how quickly and easily we can summarize things. If someone asks me how I've been today and I answer, "Fine, just busy", I am most assuredly leaving out quite the story. Or, perhaps I want to summarize my life up to this point--"Well, I grew up in Ohio. Went to college at Ohio State and got my master's degree from Arizona State and moved to Phoenix. I'm engaged and getting married in the fall. I'm jobless also, in case you wanted to know." Just think of all the detail I've left out of my life story. But we have to do that. We have to leave out the details, because no one has time for our stories. Thankfully, writing allows the story to be told.

Journaling is great, and the reasons are two-fold. For one thing, it's an amazing feeling to get your thoughts out on paper (or screen, in my case). Secondly, it gives you a chance to tell your story. Every detail is accounted for much more in-depth than your life summary. You are taking each day and puling it apart. You are writing the book of your life, and you have no idea what the story arc is. And that, is just beautiful.