Am I Old Now?

For the first time in my life, I am really starting to feel old. I always thought that it was just a mindset, and I'm really not yet convinced it isn't, but I sure am starting to feel the distance from childhood.

I was looking through pictures tonight and thought about changing my Facebook profile photo. I found one I liked and almost changed it. However, while I was looking at the photo, I realized it was two years old. Two years! It was a picture from a random evening here in Phoenix. I sincerely feel as though I just showed up yesterday to Arizona, and suddenly I've been here for more than two years.

Then I started thinking about how much time has past since other life-changing events. It's been five years since college ended. Ten years since high school graduation. Why does it feel like I was JUST sitting in Mr. Smith's chemistry class or receiving my bachelor's degree at Ohio State?

So, now, I feel, well, old. It makes me sad to think how much time has gone by. I feel like I have really whittled away the last few years without making the most of it. I am scared I will waste the next two years. I am worried about what I will do with my life.

Another piece that is making me so contemplative about all this is the fact that the majority of my friends are getting ready to move. Two of my best friends are about to move to another state. Two other really close friends from work are also moving, along with a few other coworker friends of mine. When I first moved here, I thought I would never make any friends, and it did take some time. Right now, I feel like I have some great ones, but I am afraid once they are gone that my life will feel very empty and lonely. It's amazing how you can become so close to people in such a short time. I could have never dreamed two years ago that I would be this upset about losing friends I have made here in Arizona.

How can I deal with this? How can I make new friends and stay close with the old? I know from experience that it's not easy to stay in touch with people you are no longer living close to. How can I ensure that my friendships with these people do not fad and become nothing more than a memory? I really don't know and that is just where I am at right now.

I guess my post has less to do with my getting older, and more to do with my surprise over how quickly time passes by. It makes me think of that song, "100 Years to Live". That song has always depressed me, but the older I grow, the truer it rings. It's taken me 27 years to realized that life is moving SO QUICKLY. I hope I can make the most of the time I have left on this earth.