I've always had a sneaking suspicion that they way 'they' tell you to do things isn't necessarily the right way. There are all these prescribed steps one must go through in life to 'succeed'. Supposedly if you follow their steps exactly, life will just be one picture-perfect ride. Hmph.
Well, I tried to follow the steps. I tried hard in school, got into college, graduated. Yet...no job. So, I did the next logical thing--I went back to school for a master's degree. Of course with MORE education, I would find a job, right?
I'm still not finished with school, but that is truly irrelevant. At the moment, I am pouring over lesson plans for a second grade class that, honestly, I am not too worried about. I know that sounds cold, especially when we are talking about children (whom I do love dearly). It is the truth though. And when I hear my mentor teacher speak with such passion about the kids she teaches, going as far to say they are her own kids/family, I feel deeply inadequate. I do not feel this way about the kids. Yes, I like them and I care about them, but I do not share the passion she has for educating them. I think any career without passion is flat. Of course, there are thousands of people living each day within their flat careers. However, I don't think that a person who educates precious young children should do so without a passion, love and drive for teaching. And, well, I just don't have it.
It's not enough to simply 'like' your career. You have to live and breathe it. Unfortunately, I have discovered that when it comes to teaching, I just don't. At this point, however, I have invested so much money in my education, it is irrational and down right foolish to give up. So, about two months, I will have a master's degree in education. For what purpose? I'm not sure. I pray that somehow it aids me in my job search.
I am reluctant to even post this blog entry, because I know someone will read it and judge me for every word of it. I guess that is what I subject myself to though, when you write a blog.
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